It’s perfectly understandable for any parent to want their child to have an opportunity to spend a little time with kids their own age. Let’s face it, we all love our children and love spending time with them, but sometimes we also want a bit of adult time to ourselves. And the playground gives us the perfect opportunity to accomplish both of these goals. We can take our kids to a place that they love, where they can run around until their little hearts are content. At the same time, we can visit with some friends who have also brought their children to do the same thing. It’s a win-win for everyone.
Whenever we visit a public park, it can turn into a wonderful play date. Not just for the kids, but also for the parents. And often we may need to have a little talk with our kids before their play date so that they understand that they need to share things properly while having fun with their friends. But if you set all the right ground rules in advance, a play date at the park an be a wonderful way for both you and your child to socialize while getting some fresh air as well as vitamin D.
However, there are times when difficult situations may come up, that’s when readers often turn to Washington Post Live Advice Chat columnist Carolyn Hax for some guidance. One day a mother told Carolyn a story about when she had met up with other moms at a public park. All of them had daughters who enjoyed playing together.
Everything seemed okay until another mom came to the park with her son.
The mom told Hax,
“I asked her (nicely, I thought) if she would mind leaving because we had wanted it to be a girls-only time.”
The mom goes on to explain, “She refused and seemed angry at me. If she comes back, is there a better way I can approach her? This has been such a sweet time for moms and daughters and having a boy there is naturally going to change things.”
Now imagine how you would feel if you showed up to a public park with your son and was suddenly asked by a mother if you and your child could leave because he was the wrong gender?
I can only imagine how your reaction might be less than pleasant.
The mom continues, “We live in a world where boys get everything and girls are left with the crumbs, and I would think this mom would realize that, but she seems to think her son is entitled to crash this girls-only time.”
Hax’s response? “Goddess help us all.” She tells the mom that “shooing off the mom and her boy was terrible…That kid is a human being–not with privileged little man feelings, either, but with feelings, period.”
As far as girls being “left with the crumbs,” Hax says, “the adult you shooed off is a mom, possessor of the same crumbs you’ve been fed, no? So don’t you think she would have just liked to hang with some fellow moms in the park while she was out with her child?”
That seems to make perfect sense to me. Carolyn explained how it shouldn’t be about a child’s gender, and that they missed a great opportunity to get to know another mother. She also recommended that the mothers should take their kids to a private location if they want a girls-only play date as people should never be excluded from a public area.
It sounds like a common-sense solution to us. Then again, it seems like that wasn’t a question that really needed to be asked in the first place.
What are your thoughts on that situation? Was the mom right or wrong? Tell us in the comments section, and please be sure to share this story with your friends and family.