It doesn’t matter who we are, we are going to make mistakes in life. Some of them are going to be rather small but others are large and they may sometimes haunt us for many years to come. When we make those problems as children, we sometimes have to face the wrath of our parents who need to decide how to best punish us so that we learn our lesson. One father is making waves online after he forced his daughter to shave her head completely bald when she was caught bullying another student who lost her hair from chemotherapy.
This is probably the boldest parenting move of the century and I have to say, it is rather shocking when you stop to think about it. The father is actually getting a lot of heat for the punishment but he really doesn’t care what other people think. He feels as if it is a reasonable consequence for what she did and he isn’t willing to back down. According to his estimation, it is the best way to teach his daughter a lesson that she will never forget.
The issue began when he caught wind of his 16-year-old daughter getting in trouble for making fun of a student who had lost her hair because of chemotherapy.
A post was put on social media but it has been deleted since that time. The father explained his actions and the fact that he had full custody of his daughter. When she made fun of that other girl and he learned about it, he was furious that she would do it. She had even gone so far as to pull off her wig!
The dad said that the daughter is dating the other girl’s ex-boyfriend and this resulted in even more drama.
“They were having an argument in class about stupid teenage gossip regarding my daughter’s boyfriend. At some point the other girl mentioned how my daughter’s boyfriend was just using her for sex (this was actually a big shock to me as I had no idea she was sexually active) and called my daughter a slut. That’s what escalated the situation and resulted in the wig incident. Supposedly they have been arguing in class ever since my daughter started dating the guy in question. Basically just stupid teenage ‘he said she said’ nonsense.”
When you realize that there is actually something more to the story, you begin to realize why she may have done it but it still doesn’t excuse her behavior.
“Not how I’ve raised my daughter to treat people and it truly disgusted me to hear how she acted from her deputy principle,” he wrote. “She showed no remorse. She tried to excuse her behavior by saying the girl in question deserved it. Again, I don’t care what she said, that behavior is inexcusable.”
Talking with his daughter really didn’t get very far so he came up with two punishments. She can either give up her technology or she could shave her head completely bald.
Like any teenager, she decided not to give up her technology and opted to have her head shaved. It doesn’t mean, however, that she was happy about it.
Both his daughter and his ex-wife were upset about the punishment. The father, however, still stood his ground. “She will go to the hairdresser and get a cue ball haircut. As in, a completely shaved head, as bald as the hairdresser can do,” he wrote. “No wig. She has to go to school like that until it grows back.”
Many people think that the father went too far and it is even going to make people bully his daughter. He feels that is exactly the right reason why he should have done it.
“I came up with the punishment because I thought my daughter had an extreme lack of empathy for the girl she bullied,” he says. It is also a personal issue for him because his mother died of breast cancer when he was young.
“My daughter knows this and that is what really disgusted me with her behavior,” he says. “It demonstrated a complete and utter lack of empathy. I hoped that her going to school bald and walking a mile in the other girl’s shoes would teach her a lesson.”
Some people felt as if it was a very harsh punishment.
“Your daughter sucks for bullying that girl, obviously. But you went too far with this punishment,” one person wrote in the comments.
“Your daughter is a bully because you are a bully,” someone else added. “I seriously doubt this is the first time you used abuse and humiliation to ‘teach her a lesson.'”
And another person wasn’t afraid to tell it like it is, “There’s a term for what you did. It’s called child abuse,” the person wrote. “Taking away her electronics would have been an appropriate punishment. Grounding her would have been an appropriate punishment. Disrespecting her right to bodily autonomy and humiliating her is not an appropriate punishment. She’s unlikely to learn from it and if anything it risks perpetuating a cycle of bullying.”
Other people said it was just what she needed.
“The punishment was absolutely harsh, probably harsher than I would have done in your place (I can’t say for certain, I’m not a parent). But she will see what kind of impact actions like hers have on the victim and that will teach her a very important lesson. If teaching her that lesson makes you the (expletive), perhaps the world needs a few more (expletives),” the person wrote.
“Everyone on here obviously has no clue how (expletive) kids can be,” another person added. “I support your decision completely. You’re her parent so you have every right to do this, it’s not abusive, it’s real life. If she’s comfortable attacking someone for something they have no choice over she needs to see how it feels. Kids don’t learn from compassion as much as we want them to, I’m not saying have no compassion but this isn’t a situation where sitting them down and explaining the issue will suddenly make them a better person. And how is this punishment cruel or abusive… guess what… hair grows back, crazy I know, unlike the person she humiliated. Everyone here needs to get some perspective.”
“This is an appropriate punishment for that behavior that will hopefully result in one child being compassionate and thinking empathetically before they start bullying people,” added someone else.
The father really doesn’t care if people agree with his methods or not.
“As far as the backlash, I’ll be honest and say it hasn’t changed my opinion,” he explains. “Most of the comments called it abuse. I really can’t take that seriously, it’s just a haircut and her hair will grow back.”
He adds that although he learned that he’s “clearly the minority in that subreddit, (…) I really didn’t anticipate that level of vitriol. I can’t complain though since the entire point of that subreddit is to judge other people, so I don’t really mind.”
The daughter is understandably upset with her father but she still is not showing remorse for her actions. She also hasn’t apologized.
“If she shows genuine remorse I’d get her a temporary wig of some kind,” he continues, “but as I say she hasn’t done that yet.”
H/T: Cafe Mom