When a child is born, it’s not only a big event for their parents. The new grandparents, aunts, uncles, and just about all of the relatives and friends also want to celebrate and catch a sneak peek at the new bundle of joy. And of course, just about everyone wants to hold the new baby. But, amidst the joyful chaos, folks can overlook one very significant person who they all should be paying attention to — the mom. And these well-meaning post-birth visitors can really wear many women down. Katie Bowman is the “creator of twins and their big sister,” who recently wrote an incredibly heartfelt post about the importance of giving new moms space that she shared on her blog Living My Family Life. And the message really hit home for thousands of women who insist that her post is a must-read for everyone who wants to visit a new mom and her baby at the hospital.
Katie does feel that it’s perfectly normal for folks to be very excited to see a new baby. “It’s a special moment, and they want to be involved. I just think sometimes that overwhelming excitement can sometimes cloud their judgment, and they try to justify that seeing the new baby is more important than listening to what the new mum wants,” she told Bored Panda. However, she believes there are only two things a new mom can do to distance herself from unwanted attention. Either ask or demand (if polite requests don’t work) for the space she needs. This is a very sensitive time, and unfortunately, many mothers are made to feel like the bad guy no matter what approach they take.
“I was lucky to have people who wanted to celebrate the life of our daughter, I just had some a bit late, which left me feeling exhausted as shown in my picture, staring at everyone wishing they would leave so I could finally get some sleep. The whole post is not related specifically to my experience, but experiences in general for new mothers. I feel like it’s a subject where mums feel like they have to just take a back seat and allow their newborn to feel like everyone’s property. It’s about reminding everyone that childbirth is a special moment, and they need to remember that with a new baby, there is a new mother. A new mother who is made to feel like she can’t speak up about her own feelings, because apparently everyone else’s feelings are more important at this time.”
For her next pregnancy, Katie decided to circumvent the awkward situation altogether. ”For our second pregnancy, we said we probably wouldn’t want visitors at the hospital this time, especially with there being 2 babies. If it was going to be anything like my first birth, I knew I wasn’t going to want to put on a brave face to see anyone. As it was, the twins were a much easier delivery, surprisingly, and I felt great and ready to see family the next morning,” the mom said.
Here is Katie’s post in its entirety.
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And a lot of folks had plenty to say about Katy’s poignant message.
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Source: Bored Panda