Getting back into the dating scene can be tough for single parents, especially after separating from their partners. It’s hard enough for those who’d never been married or had children with another to find love, but add an ex-spouse and kids into the mix, and you could have a highly complex situation that you’re asking someone to step into.
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And when two people with their own children unite, things don’t always go according to plan. After all, real life isn’t always like the Brady Bunch. One man learned this lesson hard when he was forced to decide between his new wife, her children, and his own daughter.
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Due to the amount and level of bullying his daughter had to endure from her new step-siblings, the couple’s marriage quickly fell apart, and the man decided it was best they all parted ways. After his now-second ex-wife tried to make him feel guilty about his decision, he decided to write a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” subreddit to learn the perspectives of other Redditors regarding his situation.
“The girls dad hates my daughter and they (the girls) will spew that hate in our home, and will use it to bully my daughter. A grown ass man called my 10 year old a fat repulsive pig, a w*ore and the reason abortion was invented (to list only a few). The girls have called her dumb, they have mocked her for being shy and introverted,” he explained in a post on the Am I The A**hole subreddit.
“I made it clear that could not continue if we were to stay married and my wife was determined she would get them to stop. I got my daughter therapy and I did as much as I could to keep them separate. But even at night they started to taunt her. So I made the decision to move out with my daughter and I told my wife our marriage could not continue. She begged me to stay. She said she loves us and her girls need me. I said my daughter comes first.”
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The man went on to explain how since filing for divorce, his wife and her family have tried to make him feel guilty for his decision to put his daughter’s wellbeing first.
“My wife’s family have been telling me how much my stepdaughters need me, how badly they need to see a healthy and good father figure in their lives, and that I will destroy them if I leave. How they’re important and I need to prioritize them. I told them they are not more important than my daughter. Outrage ensued and I was asked how I could say that.”
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The wife’s family also continued to ridicule him for what they saw as him overreacting to young girls being young girls. However, most people on Reddit sided with the father and praised his decision to leave the marriage to protect his daughter from any more emotional and mental abuse.
“You did the right thing — the only harsh and cruel thing said in that conversation was them implying that you were somehow harming your stepdaughters by choosing to protect your own child from their bullying,” said one top comment. “The girls may indeed need a healthy father figure in their lives – but if you had stayed in that house and allowed their torment of your daughter to continue, then you no longer would have been the example they needed. I’m baffled by your in-laws’ insistence that you need to prioritize your wife’s daughters, but not your own – and it’s clearly not possible to prioritize all of them.”
Many also noted that the father removed his daughter from such a toxic situation, which was a great example of a strong father.
A lot of Redditors who had personal experience with abuse or harassment at the hands of a stepparent or sibling also expressed how they wished their parent had done the same thing years ago.
“I wish I had had a dad like that with my abusive stepmother and step siblings,” said one. “Your daughter has been through a lot already, she doesn’t need abuse from people who are supposed to love her and look out for her.”
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Others offered general support and said that the overall situation had more to do with the meddling of his toxic first ex-wife.
“You did everything right. I feel sorry for your wife but she has to deal with the toxicity coming from her ex first,” noted one commenter.
Thanks for reading. Please be so kind as to pass this story along to your friends and family?
Sources:
- “Man Files for Divorce After Stepkids Bully His Daughter One Too Many Times” Cafe Mom.
- “Man Files For Divorce After Stepkids Bully His Daughters” The Cute Baby.