Hilarious 911 Calls That Prove Humanity Is Doomed

The job of a 911 operator is can be quite stressful. Day after day, these hard-working professionals have to deal with different people, most of whom are probably having the worst day of their life. Tensions are often high, but operators are trained to be calm, composed, and reassuring. They must practice these traits flawlessly sometimes to guide the caller through life-saving steps until help can get to them. Under such stressful conditions, one must wonder if these folks ever have a bit of fun on the job. Actually, yes, there are lighter moments when a 911 operator can find themselves in a call with someone having a rather unusual problem. We’ve found a collection of fictional 911 stories that are sure to crack you up.

#1

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


#2

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

Dispatcher: Excuse me?

Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.


#3

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!


#4

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police.

Source: Tickld

 

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