We can’t deny that asking our boss for a raise is one of the most stressful things we can do in our careers. There are just so many employees who’ve lost countless hours of sleep and consumed untold amounts of antacid while trying to figure out the most compelling argument to pitch to their boss that would hopefully leave him or her feeling very generous by the end. Should I wear a nice shirt? Should I get a haircut? What should I say? Should I keep it short or prepare a PowerPoint? There are countless things to consider beforehand, but most chicken out and never knock on the door. In this fictional joke, an employee summons the will to ask his boss point-blank for a raise and offers four very compelling reasons why he should get it.
Employee: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?
Boss: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?
Employee: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.
Boss: Yes.
Employee: I won’t beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.
Boss: A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.
Employee: I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro-activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.
Boss: Taking into account these factors, and considering I don’t want to start a brain drain, I’m willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?
Employee: Great! It’s a deal! Thank you, sir!
Boss: Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?
Employee: Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company, and the Mortgage Company!
Source: Tickld
