There are some rather serious subjects that we often need to discuss. One of those has to do with the leadership roles that women play in business and in many other areas of life. It is a serious subject that sometimes does not get the respect that it deserves. At the end of the day, however, it also helps to smile a little bit, even when the subject is more on the serious side. A comedian and writer by the name of Sarah Cooper helps us to do so.
Sarah Cooper is responsible for putting out a rather interesting ‘guide’ that helps women who have found themselves in leadership roles. Sometimes, they need to communicate with their male coworkers and it can be a rather difficult thing to do. She worked in the tech world at Google and Yahoo for many years and witnessed the double standard that women often face in a working environment. It was then she wrote a blog post about ‘tricks to appear smart’ and it went viral. She then quit her job and started writing her first book, 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings.
There is no doubt that her latest book is going to stir up some controversy, especially among the men who read it. As you can see from these excerpts from the book, however, it will be okay if you know how to handle things properly.
“12 Non-Threatening Leadership Strategies for Women”
by Sarah Cooper
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they’re not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent. One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much? IS IT? Sorry, I didn’t mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you’re telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don’t want your male coworkers to think you’re getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just “thinking out loud,” “throwing something out there,” or sharing something “dumb,” “random,” or “crazy.”
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don’t come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let’s face it, no one might’ve ever heard it if he hadn’t repeated it.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Men love explaining things. But when he’s explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, “I already know that.” Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it’s important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you’re too sure about it. People will appreciate your “hey what do I know?!” sensibilities.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you’d be great for the role even though you don’t really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don’t take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don’t stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man- like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a “secret power” because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn’t frighten and intimidate others. That’s what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
