Many of us have experienced the feeling of being wronged in some way or another. It may have been intentional or could have been accidental but in either case, it stings.
When somebody intentionally does something that causes us to trip up, however, it is going to make us feel emotions we may never have felt before. Suddenly, were not happy with just allowing it to roll off our back, we genuinely want to get even.
Getting revenge is not always easy but it is satisfying. You have the tales of revenge below to prove it.
1. My Battle Against Urinal Terror At Insurance Company HQ
I have a small cleaning business, and one of the locations I clean often is the headquarters for an insurance company. I’ll just start off by sharing that I’ve cleaned daycares, nursing homes, doctor’s offices, and none of them are as bad as the banks and office bathrooms I have cleaned. I was always under the impression that people handling large amounts of money were less animalistic and would have better bathroom etiquette.
Alas, I have seen things not for the weak in these places. Aside from my recent endeavors, cleaning literal explosive diarrhea off of a wall, floor, and entire toilet, (I don’t even know how a bum can do something like this, but apparently it can) there is one consistent battle I am fighting.
A war has started between me and a stranger I do not know, at this company. I must warn you, if you have gotten this far, what I am about to say, is not for a weak stomach.
Every day, for the past two months there is a urinal in one of the men’s bathrooms that is never flushed. I have made every attempt to persuade this individual to do so.
The worst of it is, my work week there ends on Thursday, and I do not return until Sunday, so when this urinal is left, and I return, the contents inside of it ferment, and grow a thick, disgusting, ungodly film, carrying scent I wouldn’t wish upon anyone to know.
A few things I have tried before this point are attempts to place nice little casual parting gifts, like snacks or trinkets by the vanity next to the exit, buying fancier soaps, and air fresheners for the bathroom, making toilet paper and paper towel sculptures to add to the allure of please be kind to your housekeeper, and I’ll make your experience as pretty as a bathroom can be, I’ve tried making sure, I am cleaning that urinal the best, out of any toilet in the room, it’s been the most pristine toilet you’ve ever laid eyes on, many a time.
But every time I return to the bathroom. A wonderful present awaits me.
The last few weeks, I’ve worked up the courage to as politely and professionally as I could manage, sourcing ChatGPT, and asking others, how to professionally say “please stop leaving your fermented urine in the bathroom over the weekend and just flush the toilet, it is the cleanest and most sanitary toilet in this building and it is not hard, it stinks and makes me actually gag and almost vomit”… in the end, I made a very professional looking/sounding sign, and even added some graphics, to entice some more motivation to no longer assault me every Monday, and placed it between the two in the bathroom.
It didn’t work. I gave it many a time and chance, I then started to understand, we are fighting, and this is on purpose, so I am going to bring the heat.
More and more every day, as he brought the gift of nasal annihilation I brought the gift of reminder.
I began moving the sign closer and closer to the urinal, and even that was pushing professionalism in my opinion. It is obvious, I am the only cleaner in the building, that it is my doing.
Yesterday was the last straw. I got some chunks on my arm while cleaning it, despite gloves, & I finally vomited as I realized what had happened. I doused my arm in disinfectant spray, washed it 4 times, and then sanitized. I felt as though I was touched by the devil himself.
And so today, I sent it. I just couldn’t keep my composure any longer.
I saw it sitting in the toilet once more, and I left it. Strong smell and all. Took the polite sign off the wall above it, and taped it completely over the urinal, the soap and paper towels needed a refill and I left them empty.
& honestly, I hope he gets as sick as I did.
Update: I didn’t lose my job, emailed my client about it being a potential risk and biohazard, as per the comments suggestions, and he seemed to take it seriously, too seriously. In the most professional jargon I could, I said that I think this is intentional, he messaged me on social media, instead of sending an email, saying something that sounded like we should set up the guy, have me come in around 1 pm and clean and if I see the mess he can check the cameras and see who’s gone into the bathrooms.
I found this odd, and had pause worrying it may be unethical despite some opinions about it potentially being more private than sending a whole email to everyone and drawing everyone’s attention to the issue. I emailed him in response and said again in fancy talk that I think it might be wise to just send an email so as to not violate anyone’s privacy, and maybe if that didn’t work we could try something else.
He emailed back saying it was a misunderstanding and seemed panicked about me quitting.
I assured him that I was not.
Seems like it ended well for now.
2. Awful Zoo Fires Me? I’ll Never Return My Keys
When I was 19 I used to work for this small roadside zoo think dirt paths and chicken wire holding back literal monkeys! It happened to be really close to one of the largest and most popular zoos in my country which made this zoo very quiet.
I was hired as front reception and customer service, the first face you see. If I’m anything I’m ‘bubbly’ and they basically hired me on the spot.
The owner of the zoo came in one day a few weeks after I started and struck up a conversation.
In a roundabout way found out I’m disabled and seemed very shocked since it is an invisible illness.
This was the beginning of the end I just didn’t know it yet.
Unfortunately for them, I was incredibly good at my job. Customers were happy, the office was clean and I was finished with the work they gave me with half my day empty and boring.
The head zoo keeper was young, short, attractive, and had a temperature that could rival Regina from Mean Girls. I tried asking for more responsibilities, with a background in art I offered my skills and knowledge in other areas just to fill my day and was met with a screaming almost 30-something man on his tip toes spitting in my face that I needed to sit down, shut up, and smile for the customers.
So I did. That was until the incident.
One day a friend of the owner drops in this pair of birds as a surrender. This cute little white cockatiel and a blue Indian ringneck. I own a bird and so when they put them in an old cage next to the office I was very excited. I wasn’t to feed them but I was allowed to talk to them.
The days went by and the ringneck became very wild and unhappy, the poor little white bird was getting really sick. I tried telling the keepers that the seed was wet and the birds had no dry space when it rained, they didn’t have toys or company and they weren’t doing well.
I was met with violent screaming.
The Head zoo keeper had me pinned to a wall and I was so afraid he was going to hit me for suggesting his level of care wasn’t good enough that I burst into tears and ran back to the office.
I called the owner sobbing that he’d done that and she reassured me everything would be fine and to have a drink of water, calm down, and finish the rest of my day.
By the afternoon one of the other keepers was sent up to the office and popped his head in to see if I was ok.
Apparently, he was sent to ‘snap the neck of the birds’ because euthanasia was too expensive for surrendered animals.
I was unbelievably upset and this keeper patted my shoulder (he was a massive introvert and this meant a lot) trying to calm me down. He said he didn’t like it as much as I did but he had to do his job or he might get fired. I asked him what they told him to do exactly and he said “when I get back up there, there better not be any birds” so I asked can I take them then?
He said “as long as they aren’t here I did my job” and smirked as he walked out of the office.
So there I am smuggling birds in my shirt to my car. The sick little white one tucked up holding onto me all snuggled close and this blue firecracker practicing for the next bull riding competition.
I disinfected a spare cage I had at home and put them in our sunroom to free-fly. I was hand-feeding the little white bird with the medication the vet gave me and giving her some pats when I got an email.
The owner had sent an email stating:
‘Due to your ill health and unhappiness, you are no longer needed and your contract is terminated. ‘
That’s when it hit me. She’d been trying to find something, anything to fire me for besides just being disabled with an invisible illness.
Me being upset that I was verbally abused, physically assaulted, and upset that they were going to inhumanely kill animals was worth firing ME over.
So I’m not proud of it but I ghosted them. They didn’t give me common decency so they weren’t worth my efforts. For weeks and weeks, I’d get emails asking for my keys to the zoo. Asking if I got the email. I just let the emails sit there.
Finally, the owner called after a month and angrily asked for me to return my keys. I calmly said I put them in the mailbox the day she fired me and hung up.
I knew they were so unorganized that no one but me checked the mailbox to the office.
It had been a month and to her knowledge, they could have been anywhere by now. I hope they had to change all the locks to that office and it was a mild inconvenience that really grated on them.
I got a lot of joy watching those little birds play with that big chain of keys I hung in their bird room right up until I found them a foster home where they would be cared for well.
The little white bird was very healthy and happy when we parted ways but I’d never visit that zoo again.
They feed their dead zoo animals to their baboons, they collect the branches and grass for their enclosures from private farmland and have been run off people’s property so often that staff had to be made aware they could get shot and most importantly why would I want to support that horrible place when I can pop up the road to this amazing zoo run by a legend.
It’s a small petty but still petty revenge in my opinion. I wish I could have done more honestly.
3. Exposing A Toxic Manager’s Dark Secrets Leads To Unexpected Resignation
A contact in my network, call her Fiona, was a senior company general manager. She recently quit her job and called me (a recruiter in the same industry) to ask for help tracking her next role and could we catch up for a coffee?
Sure, I said. She asked: “Can you drive over my way? My car is in getting a service.” No worries, I said, and made the 40-minute drive to a cafe near her place.
As I arrived, she was finishing up her breakfast, a big plate of something, presumably eggs and bacon and toast, and drinking a coffee.
I ordered a coffee and gave her about an hour of my time. She then said goodbye and left. When I went to pay, the bill included three coffees (she had two) and her breakfast, about $50. Nice one.
I then find out from a new client, call him Brian, who used to work for Fiona that Fiona had been terminated from her previous job!
Bullying, toxic culture, favouritism, expense fraud, you name it. This is a malignant narcissist of the highest level.
Fast forward six months and Brian, Fiona’s ex-colleague, calls me: “You won’t believe it, but a major company in our industry in another city has just hired Fiona!”
“How can that be?” I asked. “A basic reference check would have uncovered her incompetence and nastiness.” “No idea,” Brian replied, and said he was going to: “Let this new company’s leadership know exactly who they have just hired.”
You see, Brian left his previous job, which was working for Fiona.
He had made formal complaints to management about Fiona’s behaviour but ultimately they backed Fiona, which forced Brian to resign with zero entitlements or a redundancy payout.
Fiona was fired about six months later when the truth emerged. As luck would have it Brian ended up in a general management role himself so he landed on his feet okay.
He was still very unhappy that this new company had hired Fiona, and dreaded what sort of impact she would have on the team there.
So Brian set up an anonymous email account, and through my networks, I identified who the geographic region head was and passed it on to Brian, who filled the regional director in on exactly what sort of leader Fiona had been.
He included four other names and numbers of people at the old organisation who could vouch for what Brian was claiming. He included his own name and number to cover his tracks.
A week later Brian got a call from the regional head of human resources of the company Fiona had joined. He acted surprised but gave them a rendition of Fiona’s behaviour at the old company.
We heard nothing for about six months during which the industry was abuzz with the news that Fiona had landed this big role after her ignominious departure from the old company. Then we heard that Fiona had resigned from her new role to “spend more time with her family.”
Delicious revenge, perhaps not so petty.
